I periodically check my blog's traffic sources to ensure nothing weird's going on. Sometimes there are interesting searches that lead readers to my blog. No, I'm sorry - I don't know how to cut an umbrella skirt. Sometimes there are sad searches, such as "fmla stillbirth." FMLA and stillbirth are not friends and it breaks my heart to see that someone was searching the internet for information on this subject.
This past weekend the following search showed up in my stats - "what to do with nursery after stillbirth." I found myself holding my breath, remembering the crib I had so carefully selected. The pale green walls and glossy white trim, freshly painted. The stacks of neatly folded baby clothes in the closet, waiting to be worn.
There were 25,972 reported fetal deaths at 20 weeks of gestation or more in the United States in 2006.* One of those babies was my daughter, Abigail. On Saturday, June 3, 2006 I arrived at the hospital in labor only to be told that my baby's heartbeat could not be found.
Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
You can read some of my thoughts on stillbirth and grief here, here, here, here, and here.
*Taken from CDC, National Vital Statistics Report