Friday, June 3, 2016

Bittersweet

Today was my last day at work and I'm feeling all the feels right now.  I can't find the words to describe all the thoughts racing through my mind.  It still doesn't feel real.  Maybe a dream or a movie.  Not real.

Eight years ago, I was issued a badge which was required for building access.  That badge almost becomes an extension of you because you need to use it all the time.  I always double check to see that it's in my bag, in my pocket, in my hand.  It was so incredibly odd walking out of the building this afternoon without it.

I'm somewhat of a competitive person and I compare myself to others more often than I should.  This week, I found myself measuring my career, my success to that of my peers from twenty years ago.  Rich tells me that no one ever whispers, "I wish I had worked more," from their deathbeds.  I guess I just sometimes wish I had made different decisions.  That I had pushed instead of allowing others to push me.

I don't regret this decision to retire, to stay at home with my precious little ones, who are becoming less and less little each day.  Life does pass by before you even realize what's going on.  I really need this break to recharge and get back to being me.  

On to the next chapter . . .

I want to note that Abigail's birthday is tomorrow and that has played a part in all these emotions.  What a roller coaster this week has been.

4 comments:

maureen said...

Welcome to the next chapter!! You're going to do great! You are a very accomplished person, good at so many things. I can't wait to see what life has in store for you next...besides hanging with those adorable girls!! And I agree with your husband. "I wish I could have done one more tax return!!" Said No One Ever!!!

bearie1 said...

Congratulations Sarah!

Tracey's Life said...

Sarah, it will feel weird for a while. I was downsized when my youngest was just finishing 7th grade. I made the decision to first just enjoy a summer off with them. Because the economy was in such a weird place at the time, I didn't find a job. I eventually decided to consider myself retired. Best decision ever. I think they need us more in the middle school and high school days (especially when it comes to driving them places)

You will find a new normal after a bit of time. And your husband is right, no one ever said on their deathbed that they wish they worked more.

Also, keep in mind that this is a decision that you have made for now. It doesn't mean that you can't readjust your goals and decisions for what you and your family need in future.

Sarah said...

Tracey - thank you for sharing your experience. It helps.