Today was my last day at work and I'm feeling all the feels right now. I can't find the words to describe all the thoughts racing through my mind. It still doesn't feel real. Maybe a dream or a movie. Not real.
Eight years ago, I was issued a badge which was required for building access. That badge almost becomes an extension of you because you need to use it all the time. I always double check to see that it's in my bag, in my pocket, in my hand. It was so incredibly odd walking out of the building this afternoon without it.
I'm somewhat of a competitive person and I compare myself to others more often than I should. This week, I found myself measuring my career, my success to that of my peers from twenty years ago. Rich tells me that no one ever whispers, "I wish I had worked more," from their deathbeds. I guess I just sometimes wish I had made different decisions. That I had pushed instead of allowing others to push me.
I don't regret this decision to retire, to stay at home with my precious little ones, who are becoming less and less little each day. Life does pass by before you even realize what's going on. I really need this break to recharge and get back to being me.
On to the next chapter . . .
I want to note that Abigail's birthday is tomorrow and that has played a part in all these emotions. What a roller coaster this week has been.