Between Monday and Thursday, I worked 45 hours. I arrived home last night right before 10:00 PM. I spend approximately 2.5 hours of my day commuting, which when working a normal 8 hour day isn't that big of a deal. After working a 12 hour day, it's annoying. I don't want to come off as a whiner or a complainer; I just want to keep it real. And this is real. I'm tired and frustrated. The kids are upset that I haven't been home for four nights in a row. Allie is a bit of a mess right now. She asked me to chaperone an upcoming field trip, which falls on a day I absolutely 100% without a doubt cannot take off from work. So I'm basically choosing my job (not work, my job) over her. Something I never thought I would have to do.
I have more than a half year's worth of vacation days to use before January 1st so I'll be home for a week in November and a week in December. Most of those days are days the girls have off from school, which will give Grammy some vacation time and me time to spend with my kids. I'm saving a few days to use if school events pop up in December. At curriculum night, the music teachers announced that they have an open house during class, usually the week before Christmas, for parents. That's something I want to attend.
On a whim, I decided to take a vacation day on Halloween, thinking that it would be nice to not have to rush to get home early. I'll have plenty of time to help the girls with their costumes. Well, Emily's teacher sent home a note asking for volunteers for a class project that morning. Perfect timing! I volunteered. Then Anna's teacher sends home a note looking for volunteers for the same class project but the day before Halloween. I wasn't planning on using another vacation day that week, partially because of work stuff. So now I feel like I'm choosing between my own kids, which is a really crappy feeling.
And it's not like I'm getting a big pat on the back for a job well done at work either. My kids are mad. Rich and Grammy are frustrated because this is difficult for them too. I can't get anything done at home. I can't run. I'm left feeling completely empty. The other morning when I left for work, Allie told me that she already missed me and I hadn't even walked out the door.
There's been a lot of change at work, which has lead to an extremely difficult year for many people. It's easy to say hey, just get another job but that's not so easy to do (or the smart thing to do in my case right now) for several reasons. Rich and I have a plan though. And I'm done with overtime for the remainder of the year. DONE.
Allie's baby giraffe came to work with me yesterday to help out. It made her smile.