Work was incredibly busy (and incredibly frustrating) this week. I stayed later than usual Monday through Wednesday before working a 12 hour day yesterday. Add in two hours of daily commuting time and eating dinner at almost 9:30 and I was officially done. I feel like one crappy workweek shouldn't be that big of a deal but I'm getting too old for this.
Because I wasn't going to be home at bedtime last night, Rich and the girls called me shortly after 6:30 to say goodnight. The girls' voices were so soft and sweet and they always do adorable things like kiss the phone. At one point during the conversation, Emily asked what I was doing. "Reviewing an amortization M-1." "What's that?" "Ahhh... never mind, Emmy."
Rich sent me an email earlier in the day telling me how they had been in a store and Allie had picked out one of those changing color solar lights in the shape of a star and asked if they could buy it for Abbey. We talk about Abbey here and there and answer the girls' questions the best we can but this was definitely unexpected and touching as there hadn't been any recent conversations about her.
I asked Allie about the star light this morning. She said something about going to church and talking about God and I really wish that I could remember the entire sentence because she ended it with "and then maybe Abbey will decide to come back alive the next time." Sometimes Allie makes statements that stop me in my tracks. How can a five year old seem to know so much? Is it simply the innocence of children? We don't attend church nor discuss God on a regular basis so whenever she adds those subjects to our conversations, I can't help but wonder why.
Last night, as I trudged along in the freezing cold from the train station to my car, I wondered how many of us carry these tragedies with us in our hearts. More than we realize, I'm sure.