Saturday, May 29, 2010

Four years ago

Four years ago today, May 29th, was Memorial Day. I will always remember this because it was Abbey's due date. Rich and I were eagerly awaiting the arrival of our first baby. Imagine the anticipation and excitement that we felt in our hearts. Imagine the heartache we suffered just five days later when we were told that our baby had died.

Our master bedroom has become a bit of a disaster area over the past few months. I just barely had enough room for my clothes when we moved here two and a half years ago. As you can imagine, over the past two years I have accumulated more and more clothing items as a result of slowly returning to my normal size. Clothes were everywhere.

And then Rich moved items into our room when we moved the girls to separate bedrooms. Items that I have not yet had a chance to sort through. One of the girls told me that our room was scary.

Today was the first day that I was really able to dig into the big clean-up/reorganization project. The girls were up super early today as a result of Anna screaming and crying in the hallway at 6:30 AM. They were so tired that all three fell asleep in the family room during "quiet time." When Em awakened, she wanted to cuddle so cuddle we did. For a veeeeeeeeeeeeeery long time. Did I get back to my project? No. But that's okay.

So when your little one is whining for a popsicle for the 3ooth time right before dinner, smile and remember how lucky you are that she is here.

For all of you blessed with earth children, be sure to give them a hug. Stop for a moment and enjoy them.

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Krystle said...

They look so little in comparison to that bag! I'm sure it's just the angle, unless it's an abnormally large bag. Peyton is having night terrors and crying horrendously at night, she cannot be consoled. I told Dh the other night to just calm down & we are lucky to have her here with us. We were told we would miscarry twice and had to use fertility drugs as well. I think more people should understand how delicate a pregnancy and child's life is and be grateful for every bit of it.

Hope's Mama said...

My due date was August 14. Five days later, Hope was born dead. I know that is an awfully confronting thing to read, especially, I imagine, to some of your readers who haven't lost a baby. But it is the truth. It is sadly our truth. Is is the only motherhood we knew for some months.
Due dates are hard, especially when they go unfullfilled or when they pass you by, with the baby still inside and even moreso when that baby then goes on to die.
I'll be thinking of Abbey so much in the coming days, leading up to her birthday.
Thinking of you all, and hugging my Angus extra tight.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry the official summer kick-off is not as joyous for you. It's weird, I am obviously so grateful for my surviving trips - not just was a triplet pregnancy a difficult thing, but having Caitlin die in utero. . .if she had died any earlier than she did (30 weeks) I could have lost all three. I complain about the screaming (I have a colicky/reflux baby who is only just starting to really sleep through the night), the sleepless nights. . .my loss doesn't diminish any of the usual annoyances a parent feels. But I would totally take on more if it meant I could have Caitlin.

Marcia (123 blog) said...

Thinking of you during this time...

And I love that beautiful red bag - gorgeous (I have a thing for red bags :))

Indigo Bleu Photography said...

Thinking of you and your family. My cousin was stillborn when I was 11 years old. I will never forget it and we still talk about her.

Jessica said...

I could not agree more. Losing a child makes you appreciate how truly precious every day is with your living children. You will be in my thoughts as Abbey's birthday approaches.

His Mom said...

There will be a flower for Abbey at the Angel of Hope tomorrow. (Memorial Day.) I will have photos on my blog after our trip for Curtis' birthday.

Sarah said...

I want to thank you all for your kind words. I cannot express how much this means to me and Rich.

Krystle - it is a really big bag.

His Mom - thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have no idea what that means to me. I have been thinking of you and Curtis.