Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Dance Update


Each year, the girls' dance studio awards one student with a scholarship, which entitles her (or him) to one free class per month for the next year.  There's an unwritten list of criteria and this is only the second year the girls have really been eligible for it.  The owner called me a few months ago and told me she wanted to give it to Allie, but I had the choice to say no.  The announcing of the scholarship recipient takes place during the recital's finale and is a surprise, so this isn't something I could discuss with the girls or prepare them for.  Although, I did tell them I wanted to see big smiles on their faces no matter whose name was called out.  I wasn't even supposed to tell Rich.  One parent usually knows so he/she can be ready to take photos.

That was one difficult parenting decision.  I didn't think it was fair to deny Allie the award, but I didn't want her sisters sad and hurt.  This isn't about being the best dancer and the award doesn't go to the best dancer.  Allie was in a jazz class by herself and she really stood out in that class.  All three of my girls are wonderful dancers.  People tell me this all the time.  But they are identical triplets who have common interests and that makes life hard sometimes.  They compete and compare themselves against each other.  

I didn't want to tell the owner no, don't ever single out any of my girls because when does it end?  If they all apply to the same college, will I attach a note to the applications requesting they accept all three or no one?  I've always told the dance studio to treat them as individuals, not as a unit.  And they have.  The girls' dance instructor called me when she was pulling together the sheets telling each student which classes she was eligible for during the next year.  She told me that if the girls continued with the same types of dance, I would be there five days a week.  That's okay.  I would never want to hold someone back because I'm too lazy to change out of my pajama pants and drive over to the studio.

As I suspected, there was some triplet drama after the recital but everyone's good now and we're moving on.

A week before the recital, all three girls were invited to join a new competition team.  I don't know who was more excited - me or the girls.  The studio currently has two competition teams and both are for older kids.  Typically, you're in middle school before an invitation is extended and not everyone is invited.  They've now created a new competition team for the younger kids.  I think the girls are in the middle of the pack age-wise.    

My heart just about burst open when I found out all three girls were being invited.  Anna's a great dancer but it's not always easy for her.  She was born with the most severe form of spina bifida.  Whenever she's struggling, I remind her of how the doctors told us that best case scenario, she would be able to walk with assistance.  She doesn't want to hear it.  To her, she doesn't have SB. 

The girls absolutely love to dance and I'm so very proud of them.  Their dedication and determination has paid off.  I've told you guys a billion times how I always wanted to dance but my parents signed me up for Little League baseball instead.  This is the next best thing.   


Christi said...

Congrats to them! From one dance mom to another! Enjoy the competition line. Dance has definitely provided my girls with more focus, Drive and experience.

Elizabeth said...

Congratulations to them! Also, I didn't comment on your posts a few weeks ago about blogging, but I just wanted to say that I'm another reader who loves your blog. Your posts, especially about parenting multiples (I have twins), give me a lot to think about.

Stephanie J. said...

Congrats to Allie and all three of the girls! As an identical twin I can totally relate to the drama of one twin (or triplet) winning something and the other(s) not. My sister and I were a weird sort of reverse competitive, we didn't want to win because we knew the other one would be sad and you couldn't really enjoy the victory if the other was sad. But, you're right, where will it end if you try to avoid it? Eventually everything will be "unequal" in some way so it's better that they have some experience of it now.

Bree at Clarity Defined said...

Congrats to Allie on her scholarship (how wonderful that they do that!) and to all three on the invitation to the competition team! So exciting! I'm older than my sister, but I still remember being sad when she was invited to join our studio's company and I wasn't. I'm glad my mom didn't hold her back on my account (she really is a MUCH better dancer than me) and your girls are lucky that you are doing the same (even if there was that initial disappointment).

Maggie said...

I am mom to identical twin girls. They recently tried out for a more competitive soccer team and I specifically said 'take both or neither'. Well, they didn't get selected for a team and were so disappointed. I think it did hurt their chances, but I'm not sure how we could have made it work. With my twins and their brother all playing soccer, it could have meant 3 different practices at 3 different parks.

But, I am second guessing my decision and do wonder when does it stop?

D said...

Just wanted to let you know that I love when you post instagram stories from dance class. I have always been a terrible dancer but love watching those who can dance. Thanks!

Amy M./macchiatto said...

Congrats to Allie on the scholarship and to Anna, Emily and Allie on getting invited to the competition team! Lots of complex parenting decisions but sounds like you've been handling them with wisdom and grace. I know I've struggled even just with fraternal twins (and one with some special needs) at times with some of these issues and you've got additional dynamics to consider!