Last week

Once again, I didn't mean to disappear from blogging but this past week has been a roller coaster of emotions.  There was what would have been, should have been Abigail's birthday, which is always such an empty day for me.  What are we supposed to do?  In a way, it feels like nine years was a lifetime ago but the beginning of each June, the pain is always fresh, renewed by memories and thoughts.  At the time I was trying to process my emotions related to Abigail, locally, there was a tragic accident that highlighted the vulnerability of life.  Everyone was saying, go home and hug your kids tight, but shouldn't we be doing this already?  We travel through each day fully aware that it may not last but we have to act like it will.  I worry because I know what can happen.  I've had the unthinkable happen to me.  It defines me now, making me the parent that I am.  

On a happy note, I was able to chaperone Allie's school field trip which she was so super excited about.  It was a BIG deal to her that I was there.  Thankfully, the kids in my group behaved and I was happy to learn that my kids aren't the only ones who need to eat every two hours.  Obviously, I was home from work that day and it was nice to be able to sit and help Allie through her time-telling homework instead of that rush, rush, aaaaah that happens when I review work at 7:30 at night.  

Anna has strep throat.  Again.  Because of this, I seriously cannot wait for school to end.  She was cleared and then another kid in her class had it and now she has it again.  It keeps running rampant through the schools here.  So Anna was a mess the other night.  She was overtired and unconsolable and crying just to cry as I tucked her into bed.  Allie kind of snuck into the room.  Now, when that happens, I usually question why because sometimes it just makes the situation worse.  Allie said she wanted to give Anna a hug.  Anna crawled over her bed to the edge and they embraced.  Then Allie went back to her room and returned to Anna's room with this little light-up bear she has and said that she knows how Anna doesn't like her room dark and would she like to use the bear.  If that's not love, I don't know what is.

I'll be back soon with photos.  I've got a bunch to go through and edit.  Good night.