Well, it's a good thing I'm not in the midst of training for a special race like the Newport 10 Miler coming up at the end of this month that, many moons ago, I had briefly envisioned myself completing before reality slapped me in the face.
Monday night (well, really very early Tuesday morning), Emily appeared at my bedside at 2:40. I sat up and let her crawl in but then I was unable to fall back asleep because not only did I not feel very well but the other occupants of the bed were breathing a little too loud and one of them was right up in my face. After five minutes or so, I packed up and headed off to Emily's room for some peace and quiet and a bed all to myself. It took me a bit to fall back asleep because I was still feeling off. I remember the beginning of a dream and then Allie appeared next to the bed wanting me to sleep with her. She tossed and turned for a bit and then got up and went to the bathroom. Then she tossed and turned and asked for some more water in her water bottle. Now, by that point, I was completely frustrated. I felt sick and I just wanted to sleep.
I stormed down the stairs in the dark and as I turned the corner to head into the kitchen, the front side of my right foot whacked my rain boots which were drying on the "winter" rug in the front hall. I don't have any fashionable, cute rain boots. Mine are the ankle high Totes brand from 1999. I've had them for so long, I could be wrong, but I believe they originally belonged to Grammy but she didn't wear them so she gave them to me. Either way, they're waterproof but they're heavy, which my little toe will attest too.
So, yeah, I'm pretty sure I broke my toe. About 15 years ago, I broke that same toe as I walked out of my bathroom. My foot didn't clear the doorway and I actually heard what sounded like a twig snapping. And then a few years ago, I think one of the kids ran over it with a shopping cart. My walk to work yesterday morning was a painful one. There's only a tiny bruise on the top of my toe but it's really swollen and wearing shoes is completely uncomfortable.
Allie has either a cold or allergies but she was absolutely miserable last night and I ended up in bed with her again trying to comfort her as she coughed up a lung. Her allergy induced asthma is obviously making whatever's going on so much worse. We were both up at least once every hour last night and there was a short nap in Anna's room with her. Pair that with my sleep loss from the night before and I'm one tired mom.
I guess I won't be running this week (or next) and I'm kind of bummed about it. I ran 25.75 miles in March, which may not seem like a lot (and it really isn't) but it is when you compare it to February (12.75 miles) and January (10.5 miles.) Hopefully, I won't be sidelined for too long.
Good night!
3 comments:
Hi Sarah. I've been reading your blog for a while. I am sure you don't need / want this unsolicited advice, but I cannot help myself.
From what you describe about your girls' sleep, it sounds very disruptive and unsettling for them, as well as you and your husband. By not establishing boundaries at night you may be undermining your girls' confidence and ability to self sooth, which they will need as they continue to grow. I know how comforting it can be for us as adults to give children whatever they ask for, but I also believe it is our job to look at what they need as well.
You appear to be beyond an amazing mother, I just couldn't help but mention this to you, least of all because you must be permanently exhausted.
There has to be a way to get these girls sleeping. I agree with the previous post... You seem like an amazing mom and I love your honestly and blog. I am cheering for you and I want you to get some sleep :)
I know it seems hard to set boundaries but there has to be a better way- for your own survival and sanity. (This coming from the mom who lays with her child every single night until she falls asleep- and I have 2 other children to get to bed after that... So I know it's easier said than done.). I just want good things for you- can you set more boundaries or try something new? I know it must be uncomfortable getting advice from strangers but us mamas need to stick together and help each other!
I hear ya! It probably appears worse than it really is b/c I only talk about the bad nights. Last night, Em and Anna both slept in their beds all night w/out getting up. I did sleep with Allie b/c she was wheezy - she asked and I wanted to keep an eye on her. When they're sick/not feeling well, I sleep better if I'm with them - otherwise my anxiety takes over.
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