I have found myself gravitating away from these types of posts because inevitably, I'll receive at least one comment offering unsolicited parenting advice, which is so easy to give when the situation isn't yours. I believe that all kids are great at some things and not so great at other things. For my kids, sleep is their downfall. Well, really, allowing me to sleep; they get what they need. And I may be partly to blame. If you're on any type of parenting forum, you'll see the subject of "sleep training" over and over again. I'm kind of tired of all the labels at this point. It is what it is.
Rich and I attended a work related dinner (for Rich) last night. We arrived home shortly after 10:00. As we were saying good-bye to Rich's niece, who watched the girls for us, Anna appeared at the top of the stairs, looking for me to sleep with her. I tucked her back into bed, explaining that it wasn't time for me to go to sleep yet. Rich and I then decided to watch TV for a few minutes to unwind before heading up to bed. Anna came downstairs a few minutes later, looking for me again. Rich brought her back upstairs while I shut down my computer, etc. for the night. By this point, it's 10:30 and Rich tells me that Anna is saying she needs to be cathed.
As I walked into Anna's room to cath her, I felt any energy I had left quickly drain from my body. It's almost as if I could hear the WOOSH of it all leaving me. When all was said and done (and she really did need to be cathed), I was in bed at 11:00 and asleep in no time.
1:00 AM - Emily comes in with her pillow, Ginger and Little Lion. Emily comes in every night. I sit up and let her crawl past me to the middle of the bed.
2:00 AM - Allie appears at the side of my bed, looking for me. I go with her to her room to sleep.
4:00 AM - I get up to use to the bathroom and discover Anna sleeping on the edge of her bed despite the way I had positioned pillows to keep her in the middle of the bed. She rolled out of her bed not too long ago so I have to keep an eye on her. I accidentally wake her up and end up sleeping in her bed until...
5:00 AM - Allie appears at the side of the bed, looking for me. I go back to her room with her.
7:00 AM - Allie wakes me up and I try to keep her quiet for the next hour so everyone else can sleep.
Sometimes I'm exhausted by it all.
17 comments:
Sometimes you just have to do what needs to be done for your family to function and ignore the unsolicited parenting advice. Sleep wasn't a problem for us until we moved to a new house; apparently my kids forgot to pack their good sleep habits. We finally moved their crib mattresses into our room. I am getting better sleep now than I have for the past 6 months--pretty crazy considering I have a 3 weekold in the mix now! I am pretty sure my family's solution goes against pretty much every sleep training book out there, but it works.
Oh my gosh. As a mom of twins, I feel your sleep-deprivation pain. Nothing sucks worse than being that tired...except dealing with a crying/distraught child(ren) in the wee hours. I wish there was a simple, non-painful solution for you. I hope it gets better for you soon!!
Reading that makes me want to buy you a container of melatonin and a night at a hotel!!
When i was kid like your 3, i had never understand why my mum was in my bed and me in her bed in the middle of the night.
Now i understand, and i left the parental bed ( only mommy bed for me) at eleven or twelve.
I'm sur your girls will like a king size bed for three littles girls and a mommy
You have to be exhausted! Hugs!
My daughter was the BEST sleeper, not so much now at 5 1/2. My son is not good at all and I recently found out he has severe obstructive sleep apnea.
I sympathize with your girls. There was a long two-year stretch where I slept on the couch every night. It was the only place where I felt I could get comfortable. My husband was irked and didn't understand why I couldn't sleep in the bed like a normal person. I couldn't really understand it either. Sleep is hard sometimes. I'm an adult and had trouble with it!
I feel your pain. A therapist once said that sleep deprivation is a form of torture in the military. It slowly makes you literally crazy. My 6 year old still has me up at least once a night, but since she is an only, I can't imagine what you go through. Know I am sick of the sleep training lectures as well. Do what works for your family and know you are not alone. I hope you get a good sleep stretch soon.
Have you considered having the girls share a sleeping room?
My twins were awful sleepers until age four, then something magically happened and they started sleeping through the night. But, my girls spend most nights sleeping together in one bed. I wonder if there is something about the multiple bond, that makes it so they have a need to sleep near someone else. Since your girls are in separate rooms, they end up seeking you out?
I am so sorry you can't get good sleep!When I don't sleep I feel like it impacts every aspect of my life, ugh. These days I feel like I will never get good sleep again (our twins both have Type I Diabetes). I am up every night doing blood sugar checks. So yeah, I feel your pain. On the other hand, I remember in a moment of frustration telling our oldest when he was young to please not come to our bed anymore. He never did again and that makes me sad now.
Have you tried putting them together in one bed? Despite having our own rooms, my mother put my sister and I in a queen size bed together every night. Having two kids in one bed really helped keep the monsters from coming out of the closet! ;) Not sure if it would work with your kids, but we really only went into our parents room if we were ill, so it sure helped them get a good night sleep. We stayed in the bed until my sister was entering high school and she became too cool to share a bed with her younger sister. lol
We actually have a cot and sleeping bags under our bed for the middle of the night visitors. We quit fighting it a long time ago.
I am so sorry you are not sleeping! When I don't sleep well it impacts every aspect of my life (mostly getting sick, being impatient). These days I feel like I may never sleep normally again (our twins both have Type I Diabetes) and I am up checking blood sugar, turning off alarms etc. Although, I do remember in a moment of frustration telling our oldest who was young at the time to please not come to our bed anymore. And you know, he never did. It still makes me a little sad. Holly
If sleeping together, they more bother than comfort each other. We've tried - although, not recently. Two of them have ended up accidentally cuddling in my bed in the morning, not realizing who they were cuddling with. They may grow into that. Hopefully.
I was curious if you have ever considered sharing this post with your kids? Maybe not these exact words, of course, but showing them on paper how many times your sleep was disrupted last night, each hour of the night by a different daughter, and how hard it is for you to function with little to no sleep? Obviously, if they were two years old, you couldn't expect them to understand or take on your perspective/exhaustion, but at this age, it seems reasonable to me to bring them in to helping solve the problem!?
Oh my gosh Sarah! You win mom of the year-I could not deal with that kind of sleep deprivation. I hope you and your family can eventually work something out so everyone gets enough sleep. I wonder if asking the girls for suggestions would help? Good luck and I hope you eventually get the recommended 8 hours!
My 6 year old daughter had to be rocked to sleep when she was a baby. My mom thought that was terrible of me and used to say I was babying her and I would regret it when she was older and couldn't fall asleep by herself. She does fall asleep by herself, but she usually wanders into my room sometime in the night. I made a little bed for her at the foot of my bed, she says it is snugly and feels good because she is close to me, and I feel good because she is happy. And most importantly, I don't regret one minute of rocking her...not at all. I wish long naps on the weekend to make up for any lack of sleep.
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