Wednesday, May 29, 2013

May 29th

I noticed her first. She had just stepped out of a cab at the other end of the block and was heading toward me on the sidewalk. She was older, close to my age, with short sandy hair. Her dress, a flowing maxi dress in muted blues that was dressy without being fancy, was what had caught my attention. Her husband (presumably) walked a few steps behind her, catching up. He was older, distinguished looking, wearing a suit with a tie that matched the dress. An elderly couple (maybe his parents, or hers) followed after them.

She turned to catch her reflection in the glass windows of the office building that bordered the sidewalk. They all seemed happy and excited.  There was a spring in her step.  As they approached me, she turned again and that's when I saw her midsection.  An unmistakeable baby bump.  And suddenly, there on Federal Street halfway between the train station and work, I wanted to cry.

Today was an extremely busy day at work.  I don't know when the sky cleared up even though there's a window right behind me.  I don't know if the day was any warmer than it was when I stepped outside at 6:30 to go home.  I know the date though.  May 29th.  I was so busy I didn't even have a chance to think what I wanted to think.

Seven years ago, I was eagerly and nervously waiting to meet my first baby.  We didn't know if we'd be welcoming a baby boy or a baby girl into our family.  May 29th was my due date.   









22 comments:

Andrea Sotomayor said...

I'm so sorry & I am thinking of you and your 4 girls today.

Stef said...

The beginning of this post caught me off guard (so different from the normal photo or kid posts) but I realized the date and knew it had to be Abby related. I will be thinking of you and Rich and hope that you both receive comfort.

Melissa said...

Hugs.

Lucylou1709 said...

I know a pain similar to this. My heart aches for you today. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I know your eldest daughter is too. Much love xxx

JEN said...

Much love to you all today.

Cindy said...

My heart and thoughts are with you. I hope you had the time last night to think and remember and honor Abby and yourselves.

Christi said...

Sending my thoughts to you and Rich.

elderbug said...

Yesterday my husband and I finally got our tattoos in memory of our daughter who died two years ago on May 29. It is and will be a hard day every time it passes.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry. I hope that you can get through this rough time, I don't know what it feels like to loose a child however I do know what it feels like to loose someone you love greatly. Stay strong and remember all the good things in your life.

Krystal said...

Sarah - I commented before about this... but you and your story are the reason that my little guy is here... alive and okay. Thank you.

It is not the same. I know that. But because of your story you have 4 daughters to love forever and I have 1 son.

Such a hard day for you. Hugs!

Anonymous said...

That was such a lovely post. Heartbreaking though too. I love your blog, and your Abigail posts always make me sad. If you look back, do you think she resembled the girls when she was born?

Crystal Oh said...

I rarely comment but I wanted to today. I am pregnant with my first child and I can't imagine what you endured when losing your sweet girl. Hugs and prayers to you.

Amber Ellen said...

I'm so sorry for your pain <3

Anonymous said...

elderbug, I read your blog and hope you don't mind me linking this entry. So powerful, so amazingly sad. Your little girl is lovely.

http://goodtimesnotbad.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/gasp.html?showComment=1369959424897#c8268372895446359655

Debbie said...

Sarah,
Wishing a had something magical to say that would make this pain go away. But you and I know there is nothing magical about it.
Just know that there are those who have felt that pain, and who reach out to you.
Thinking of you and Rich as you relive these days.

Sarah said...

Today was a crazy day at work. I didn't get home until after 9:00. I apologize for not replying in real time but please know that your thoughtful comments are much appreciated.

Krystal - Whenever I get frustrated with blogging, I think of you.

elderbug - Thinking of you and your beautiful daughter.

Wendy said...

<3 love you, lady.

Molly said...

I am so sorry. I wish there were better words.

jenn said...

heartbreaking. thank you for sharing. hugs to you. www.twobytwomom.com

Chantel said...

We laid a flower for Abbey at the Angel statue. Claudia did the honors since Abbey is a girl. :) I will get the video up in the next few days.

Thinking about you.

Sarah said...

Thank you, Chantel.

Wendy said...

Thinking of you today <3 Happy birthday, sweet angel.