This week has been a rough one in terms of sleeping. Rich and I are in bed by 11:00 every night and we pretty much fall asleep within 5 minutes. I don't have to be awake until 6:00 the next morning so in theory, I should be enjoying a minimum of 7 hours of sleep a night.
Not so much.
I'm a light sleeper and I don't know if this is hereditary or not but my kids are not heavy sleepers, which means that the second they wake up, no matter what time it is, they sprint to my bedside. Sometimes this occurs at 11:30 just as I've entered into a deeper sleep cycle. Sometimes it happens at 5:00 in the morning and I'm unable to fall back asleep before I have to get up for work.
As with everything else, this comes and goes in cycles. We'll have weeks of decent sleep and then weeks of horrible sleep. It can't be explained. Well, maybe it's the moon. Regardless, I've had kids waking me up multiple times each night this week and I've been sleeping in 3 different beds each night. Emily, who was our co-sleeper as a baby, has actually been sleeping in her own bed (for the most part) this week.
In addition to the middle of the night issues, Allie has been giving me a hard time at bed time, which is unusual. After stories, we tuck the girls into their beds and I usually don't hear a peep (until they wake me up when I'm sleeping.) If I do hear a peep, it's because someone needs to go to the bathroom (I don't know why they can't go alone) or they need more water. Once those requests are fulfilled, there are no repeat requests. (I mean that no one asks me 17 times for water.)
Every night this week, Allie has been clanging the stairway gate asking for me to sleep in her bed with her. I was here by myself with the girls last night while Rich was in class and I had to go upstairs 5 times between 7:45 and 8:45. As I type it out, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal but I wanted to eat and this eating dinner after 8:30 is getting to me.
So this is where being a parent is tough. I love my kids more than anything in this world and I've been trying so hard to work with them and not yell at them (but I do sometimes get pissed and yell) but I'm only human. I need sleep and they are not good sleepers. I've accepted this fact and it's been our world for the past five years. How am I supposed to survive with extended sleep deprivation? I have an almost full-time job where I have to use my brain. If I screw something up, there could be serious consequences. How do I deal with that when I'm exhausted? How do I try to extend my limited patience when all I want to do is take a nap?
It sucks because I know how fortunate/lucky/blessed I am to have these three beautiful babies. They come first in my life but I still have to pay the bills. I hate having these feelings. I hate when I get mad in the middle of the night because I've lost over an hour of sleep, or have kids sleeping on top of me or only have a teeny tiny spot in the bed that is mine.
This too shall pass...I know. Rich and I will both be napping this weekend and hoping for a change in the cycle. Or the moon.