Rich's current status of stay at home dad/MBA student/CPA exam candidate is temporary and he has been searching for a new job. I don't mind him being at home. In fact, it makes life easier for me and Grammy and reduces some of the stress of raising three young children. Unfortunately, because I am working, I carry the stress of that with me. All the time. I have to contend with politics, fear, competition and attempting to balance and manage a 4 day work week with the expectations of others. These feelings can't be turned on and off like a light switch. They occupy space in my brain and sometimes take over.
There was work stuff going on. (And I hate to be vague because it annoys me when others are vague but when it's work related, I have to be.) And I was stressed out. We took the girls to see Brave (which they really liked but it had some scary bear scenes) and we were gone from home much longer than I expected, which added to my stress. I was snappy and moody, which meant that Rich was snappy and moody. It sucked.
When we returned home, I went upstairs to the quiet of my bedroom to work. Shortly before the girls' baths, Allie appeared in my room and climbed up on the bed. I patted the pillow next to me and told her cuddle. That was fine for a minute or two and then more kids appeared and everyone started acting silly. Jumping, bumping, rolling. What 5 year olds do. Not conducive to work though.
Things quieted down and I was left with just Allie on the bed next to me. As I concentrated on the laptop screen, she held Elmo up to me and said, "Elmo loves you."
In that moment, everything was okay.