I suppose it started on Memorial Day. The memories. The feeling of wanting time to stand still. Walking day by day through the week as it happened six years ago. I hate to say this but I'll be glad when today is over. When I open my eyes and find that it is June 5th.
Today was somewhat bitter all around. The temperature dropped 15-20 degrees below normal to hover around 50-55 degrees for the entire day. It rained and even with an umbrella, the wind blew a chilly mist into my face. An extra bitter bite.
Both Allie and Em fell ill yesterday and last night was horrible. They both started with that constant vomiting around 10:30 and while holding a puke bucket isn't pleasant, that's not what made it so terrible. I was so very worried over their health. I absolutely hate when they are sick because it gives me such anxiety.
We had scheduled a memorial mass for this morning but we were unable to attend as a family because Em and Allie were still throwing up. I went by myself before heading into work. And it wasn't really a good day at work either. The bitter bite continued. Rich reminded me to remember what's important. I did find myself calmer than usual.
The girls asked a series of tough questions yesterday.
"Why did she die?"
"How old was she before she died?"
"She didn't get to grow like us?"
Today was just a normal day for so many people. Not for me. My first born daughter should have been celebrating her 6th birthday.