Last week and the week before, the girls (mainly Allie and Em) were firing off many, many questions related to death. I find it a bit sad that four year olds even know what death is. I know eventually they have to learn about these things but they're still my babies. They are trying so hard to process this information and Rich and I answer their questions without lingering on the subject but it hasn't been easy.
Rich's dad passed away about five months after we started dating. The girls know that he's in Heaven. Here are some questions Allie was asking Rich:
"Daddy, do you miss your daddy?"
"Did your daddy see you get married?"
And here's what she asked me on two separate occasions (while I was tucking her in at night):
"Did Abbey die so you got new kids?"
"...and then you get stoned* so people can still see you and not cry?"
* She refers to headstones as "stones." Abbey's headstone has a carving of an angel baby on it. The girls think that this is Abbey, which is why her question was worded that way.
Anna being Anna
Anna has been in one of her grumpy moods for an extended period of time now. She actually seems to be coming out of it but still knows how to push my buttons. For example, pulling Emily's hair while I'm trying to drive us all home from the train station. I completely lost my patience and SCREAMED. I sat down and had an actual discussion with her after I calmed down. She apologized to Em.
I wasn't going to allow her (or Allie but that's another story) to participate in bedtime stories that night. I hate doing that because it's something they love and look forward to. I want to be a happy family but I have to be a parent and parenting is hard work. I ended up giving warnings to both of them. We talked about what happened and came up with a solution so it hopefully won't happen again.
Rich and I were discussing Anna's behavior the other night and when we voiced our concerns as we would to one of her doctors, it simply sounded like we were describing a typical four year old. In addition, she doesn't behave the same way at school. There are absolutely no issues there. Nor does she behave this way when family members babysit. So we are back to believing that she is testing her boundaries and her independence. Maybe slightly voicing some frustrations at being "different."
So, yeah, we allowed her to eat a Cadbury Creme Egg the other night. (Note that she ate some blueberries beforehand.) Actually, Rich and I didn't expect her to eat more than two bites. She ate the entire thing. And lest you believe that sugar is causing her to act a certain way - she behaved quite well at bedtime for having just consumed a boatload of sugar.
And we brushed her teeth a few minutes later!
Em agreed to a four year old fashion shoot because all four year olds need to know how to dress creatively. (By the way, I'm not believing some of these fashion bloggers with photo shoots of their toddlers/very young children dressed in normal non-clashing outfits. There is no way those kids are "picking out" those outfits.)
Allie didn't want to participate, as in sit or stand next to Em but instead decided to stand in the way. (Check out that boss-lady face.)