Tough questions
Last week and the week before, the girls (mainly Allie and Em) were firing off many, many questions related to death. I find it a bit sad that four year olds even know what death is. I know eventually they have to learn about these things but they're still my babies. They are trying so hard to process this information and Rich and I answer their questions without lingering on the subject but it hasn't been easy.
Rich's dad passed away about five months after we started dating. The girls know that he's in Heaven. Here are some questions Allie was asking Rich:
"Daddy, do you miss your daddy?"
"Did your daddy see you get married?"
And here's what she asked me on two separate occasions (while I was tucking her in at night):
"Did Abbey die so you got new kids?"
"...and then you get stoned* so people can still see you and not cry?"
* She refers to headstones as "stones." Abbey's headstone has a carving of an angel baby on it. The girls think that this is Abbey, which is why her question was worded that way.
Anna being Anna
Anna has been in one of her grumpy moods for an extended period of time now. She actually seems to be coming out of it but still knows how to push my buttons. For example, pulling Emily's hair while I'm trying to drive us all home from the train station. I completely lost my patience and SCREAMED. I sat down and had an actual discussion with her after I calmed down. She apologized to Em.
I wasn't going to allow her (or Allie but that's another story) to participate in bedtime stories that night. I hate doing that because it's something they love and look forward to. I want to be a happy family but I have to be a parent and parenting is hard work. I ended up giving warnings to both of them. We talked about what happened and came up with a solution so it hopefully won't happen again.
Rich and I were discussing Anna's behavior the other night and when we voiced our concerns as we would to one of her doctors, it simply sounded like we were describing a typical four year old. In addition, she doesn't behave the same way at school. There are absolutely no issues there. Nor does she behave this way when family members babysit. So we are back to believing that she is testing her boundaries and her independence. Maybe slightly voicing some frustrations at being "different."
So, yeah, we allowed her to eat a Cadbury Creme Egg the other night. (Note that she ate some blueberries beforehand.) Actually, Rich and I didn't expect her to eat more than two bites. She ate the entire thing. And lest you believe that sugar is causing her to act a certain way - she behaved quite well at bedtime for having just consumed a boatload of sugar.
And we brushed her teeth a few minutes later!
Fashion shoots
Em agreed to a four year old fashion shoot because all four year olds need to know how to dress creatively. (By the way, I'm not believing some of these fashion bloggers with photo shoots of their toddlers/very young children dressed in normal non-clashing outfits. There is no way those kids are "picking out" those outfits.)
Allie didn't want to participate, as in sit or stand next to Em but instead decided to stand in the way. (Check out that boss-lady face.)
Or walk back and forth in front of me with a large piece of cardboard.
Or make Em laugh, which was actually helpful.
I wish I had more time and cooperation because I would photograph their outfits daily. All three have decided to wear their Halloween skirts to school tomorrow.
11 comments:
I think that it is so nice that you let them decide what they want to wear even though it really doesn't match.
I don't know if I'd be able !
(I don't have kids yet)
You are good for letting the wear what they want. Usually mine pick out their outfits, except when it is a special occasion and they know that it is my turn to pick. My daughter never chooses the fun stuff like your girls do. Usually it's a princess shirt and fleece pants.
My oldest (4.5) sounds so much like your girls. Lately acting up A LOT at home but just had her preschool conference and she is an angel at school! She also picks her own clothes and the latest thing is some skirt with pants (not leggings, pants!).
I also am starting to have all the death questions and am at a loss as to where to start with the answers. My husband and I just talked about it the other night when Niamh asked me where my Grandma was. I need to find a resource to help me with this.
Love your post!
Michelle
I love the photo shoot with Emily and the fact that Allie was doing "run-bys". The cardboard = hysterical.
I find that with my kids, they are expected to behave all day long that when they get home from daycare or school or grandmas, etc. they just melt down and are truly testy. It's hard to deal with but I totally get it. They need to let it out.
Oh, I forgot to mention - shhh...I give my kids candy and crap too. They love it. It tastes great. (Anna looks too cute consuming the cadbury egg...mmm)
The way I see it I was deprived of junk food when I was a kid. It just made me go nuts when I got out of the house. I wasn't taught moderation so now I am very overweight and struggling with body issues and healthy eating habits. If I teach my kids moderation of junk along with healthy choices maybe they won't suffer with the weight issues I have.
Really fun post! As a mom of a preschooler son who could care less about clothes (he'd rather just run around in underwear!), I LOVE seeing what your girls wear. They are sooo cute!
I love that first picture of Anna eating her egg, yum!!
Those questions about death. Ugh. I know they are coming.
xo
Michelle - we've been winging it with the death questions. We try to keep the answers real but something a kid would kind of understand.
Cindy - I agree with moderation.
Thanks, everyone, for the comments.
LOL walking in front of the camera with a piece of cardboard?!? Where'd she get that idea?
You said you didn't let Allie participate in bedtime stories either but that was 'another story' Have you told 'that story' yet? :-P Cute 4-Year-Old-Fashion-Model pics xx
I LOVE that you let your girls dress themselves! My mom let my sisters and I, too, except she got to choose our clothes on Sundays. (Think late '80's, early '90's bibbed dresses with lace trimmed edges and terrible floral patterns and satin ribbons around the waist. Oh and don't forget the itchy tights, patented leather mary janes, and those crazy hair bows.) Often times, at home, my youngest sister Hannah would be seen without clothes...except for her rubber boots which were used for gardening, going down back to feed the horses/dogs, etc. My sister Kristin lived in jelly shoes, cowgirl boots, and bike shorts. I was all about cotton shorts, jean dresses, and color blocked tshirts. We all wore rompers.
I appreciate the fact that we can look back and think "What were we thinking???" I also appreciate the fact that we were able to express ourselves and be creative. Your girls will appreciate it, too. That and share some giggles!
xo,
A
I have a large family and by the time I was 5, I had experienced about a dozen deaths. There are two books for young children that I think are really nice: Lifetimes, and The Tenth Good Thing About Barney. I still go back to the latter from time to time, it makes my heart feel good.
As an aside and an FYI, my dentist said it's best to wait a half-hour or more after eating to brush teeth. Some foods (acidic food and drink especially) soften enamel ever so slightly, making it more vulnerable to wear and abrasion from brushing. Not like it's a big deal if it happens occasionally, but it's a good guideline to keep in mind for the long term, especially after adult teeth come in.
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