Friday, March 9, 2012

Birthday weekend

Because my birthday fell on a weekend this year, we kept referring to those days as "my birthday weekend" which was kind of funny considering that we didn't have any big plans. (Life with triplets.) There were three projects that had been hanging over my head and I decided that I just wanted to finish and be done with them. And what were those projects? Helping two of my brothers with their tax returns, finishing our tax returns and completing the girls' birthday invitations.

Check, check and check.

Rich and I also both wanted (and needed) to sleep in. We decided that Rich would sleep in on Saturday and I would sleep in on Sunday. I'm telling you that this is the best sleep for me. I have a fan sitting on the floor turned on high and I don't have to worry about listening for the girls. I'm out.

We had a gift card for a popular (but expensive) breakfast joint in town so we decided to go there on Saturday - late breakfast for Mommy and Daddy, lunch for the little ones. The timing couldn't have been worse. We arrived at what was, apparently, prime time with three very hungry kids and so we had to wait for 15 minutes (or a bit longer) for a table. The girls were very well behaved while we were waiting but once we sat down, I heard "what is taking so long" and "I'm so hungry" ten million times.




I love my kids with all my heart. They are my world. But it can be so difficult sometimes. I was hungry too but when the food arrived, I spent my time cutting up pancakes, pouring syrup, and consoling Emily who was bawling because Rich had given Allie the top pancake and that pancake had more confectioner's sugar on it. I just wanted to enjoy breakfast with my family but instead, it turned into a frustrating outing.

Raising three kids the same age is not easy. In fact, it's so much more challenging than I ever expected it to be. Even now. So, yeah, I get a break every so often on the weekends when Rich watches the girls while I sleep in. But that break for me means that Rich is solo parenting for a few hours. And while that in itself is much more doable now, it is still difficult.

When you solo parent triplets, you spend most of your time doing nothing but that and cleaning up. I started to fill out and address the girls' birthday party invitations on Saturday morning while Rich was sleeping. I finished one and then had to get up to give someone a cup of milk. Finished another one and then had to get up to help someone retrieve scissors from the craft box. Finished number 3 and then had to get up to break up a fight. And then Allie figured out what I was doing and had a breakdown because she wanted to pick out cards to send to her friends even though the birthday party place had given us invitations to use. I packed it all up and cleaned up the breakfast mess instead.

So this may sound whiney but it's how I feel. It's my life. And I really do hate to vent because I love my kids and they are so wonderful but complaining doesn't mean that I love them any less. A few weekends ago, Rich took Allie and Anna grocery shopping while Em and I stayed at home to clean. I have alone time with the girls here and there so this wasn't anything new or completely rare but for some reason, during this hour or so, I wondered what it would have been like to have had my children one at a time. And when you go from three to one, it is so easy. So very easy.

Okay, on with the real post.

The girls were super excited for my birthday because they wanted to buy presents for me. Rich brought them to Target Saturday afternoon to pick up a few items and allow the girls to pick out some gifts. I gave Rich a list to make it easy - nail polish, running socks and Cadbury Creme Eggs. When they arrived home, the girls started acting like their shopping bags didn't hold any presents for me.

Allie - "This is just boring stuff."

Emily - "This is junk. Just junk."

I overheard this one from Allie while Rich was helping them address envelopes and wrap presents - "I want to write to Sarah, not to Mommy, because if you write to Mommy she might not know which mommy it is." I later found out from Rich that Allie had really wanted to give me a fancy dress and broke down twice while they were at Target because that obviously was not going to happen.

This year, I found myself more reflective of life on my birthday. Maybe it's a middle age thing. I've been through three major life events that have taught me how important it is to step back and enjoy what I have. I need to remember that. But I can still vent from time to time.


Tracey's Life said...

Happy Birthday Sarah! and venting is healthy!

Anonymous said...

Vent away - everyone needs to vent.

Happy birthday!

James said...

Happy birthday!

Yes, the the change from the removal of even one child from the equation is unbelievable. It's illogical that it makes that big of a difference, but it does.

Hope's Mama said...

Happy birthday Sarah!
I will never know what it is like to raise three babies of the same age. I think you're doing such a good job, you and Rich. I appreciate now how easy one really was, now that I have two. But I will say having two with a small age gap, as I've done, is hard also. A very needy toddler and a small baby - arghhh! That's why I'm pretty sure I'm done!
Girls are gorgeous, as always. Really do love watching them grow before my eyes, through my computer screen.

Marcia (123 blog) said...

I know, when we split up and take one child each for errands, etc. it is SO EASY and a pleasure :)

Samantha said...

Happy Birthday! Whether you have 1 child, or 10, it is OKAY to vent! No one is perfect. I, too, feel bad saying or feeling anything negative because I am so grateful for what I have. We just have to remember that expressing ourselves does not mean we do not appreciate everything.

Laura said...

Happy Birthday!

Being a mom is hard because you don't ever get a break. Not on the weekends, not in the evenings, not even during the night if you have little ones. You definitely have the right to vent from time to time. :)

Tracy said...

Happy birthday!! Oh, I feel you on the venting. I was explaining to a friend w/o kids why parenting is so hard.... imagine trying to get a project done at work and literally every 2 seconds someone is asking you for something, interrupting your work, saying your name over and over 100 times, then someone else enters and they start fighting with each other and screaming, then a 3rd enters and spills a drink on your desk and your papers. Then one starts playing with your tape dispenser and leaving little pieces of tape everywhere... Oh, now you have to get up because someone wants to be wiped... Do this 24/7 and see how much "work" you can get done. VENTING is NECESSARY for SURVIVAL!!! God made them so darn cute so we don't kill them. I'm just trying to hold on until kindergarten.

Cindy said...

Happy Belated Birthday! I'm not going to repeat what everyone else said about venting but THEY ARE RIGHT! Parenting multiples is so very hard and frustrating. I try to remember the cute little things they do when I get so fed up - helps me to keep from killing them. Am I allowed to say that? I meant it tongue in cheek. I love those kids to pieces. I really do...see what we do there - we complain then we explain how much we love them. So not necessary because of course we love them. But we're human and dang kids can drive you NUTS. So stop apologizing, stop rationalizing, stop trying to make it better and just vent and get it out - no apologies.