Friday, November 11, 2011

Doing it all.

I had an interesting conversation with my dental hygienist the other day regarding the challenges that we, as mothers, face in trying to do it all. It's human nature to strive to be the best and as mothers, we struggle to be the best at many different aspects of life. The challenge arises from the impossiblity of being great at everything.

My hygienist has found that comfortable spot in life. I could feel it oozing from her calm nature. She's happy and she should be.

Many years ago, I had a friend whose debt exceeded her income. Each month, she found it impossible to pay all of her bills so she would shuffle what she would take care of. Maybe she blew off her cell phone bill for a few months until she received a nasty notice and then she would make some type of payment. Making a payment on her cell phone meant that other bills fell further into arrears.

She didn't live an extravagant lifestyle. Could she have cut back? Sure. We all could if we really wanted to but she wanted to live like her friends and peers. As you can imagine, living this way eventually ends in an unpleasant situation or two.

I use this example to describe how I sometimes feel about life except that instead of trying to stretch my money, I am stretching myself. I can't please everyone all the time but yet I have to be a good mother, a good wife, a good employee, a good daughter, a good friend... It's inevitable that I piss someone off. It's inevitable that someone judges me. It's inevitable that stress hovers over me more than it should.

Lately, I've been trying to think about why things are what they are. For example, why do I work? I find that if I think about my specific goals and let the rest roll off of me, I can reach some type of peace within myself regarding decisions that I am making. I'm never going to be perfect. I don't need to be. (Although I am a perfectionist so this one is tough to let go.) I need to be happy.

Maybe I should start meditating or doing yoga. I want to lace up my running shoes and hit the treadmill but I have absolutely zero energy right now. I need some sleep. And zen.


Lisa said...

I feel you on SO many levels. Us moms have to wear a lot of hats. Pilates has helped me tremendously, I'd go for it!

Found your blog through Top Baby Blogs & I'm so glad I did.

Hope's Mama said...

And I'd imagine you'd have zero time for something like yoga!
Anyway, just want to say, (and I know I've said this before) but I think you're doing a fantastic job. You juggle so much, but accomplish much much more.

Alice said...

I was president or vice president of four clubs and a member of the swim and soccer teams along with being on the honor roll until I realized I simply needed to focus on stop pleasing others and please myself. I know that it's not as easy being you are a mother, but realizing my goals (getting into a good college and getting a varsity letter in swim team) really helped me choose my priorities and relax a little more.

Sarah said...

Right there with you!

susanne13 said...

Ok random comment but have you ever thought about trying reiki (ok, have you ever HEARD of reiki? :))

It's all about working with your energy and opening your chakras, it sounds crazy but it's amazing! I have no idea if there are any practitioners in your area (or if you would have the time to do it!)

Just a thought! Good luck!!