Is it too much to ask

for a few hours to myself each night? And by a few, I mean two. Maximum. I enjoy spending time with the girls. I really do. But the night time meltdowns are taking a lot out of me.

I don't want to complain.

I work full time and mornings around here have become a bit chaotic with the girls awake too early and clamoring for my attention. I'm lucky to have two minutes to dry my hair, which means that it is usually mostly wet when I leave the house and ends up in a messy bun at some point after it dries. I only wear make-up if we take the "good" train and Rich and I get a seat together.

And I can't remember the last night that Rich and I spent the entire night sleeping alone in our bed. I usually end up in the family room with Em sometime between 2:00 and 5:00 in the morning.

As a new parent, I honestly had the illusion (or disillusion) that I would tuck my little ones into bed at the usual bed time and they would go to sleep without SCREAMING. Doesn't always happen that way, folks. Sorry to say.

So last night, I had a blog post in mind and I was editing photos to go with that post after I had tucked the girls into their cribs. I was listening to the girls over the monitor and they were being really cute so I decided to change my post to describe their cuteness. For once, they weren't crying. (Oh, I should note here that I insist on using the monitor to ensure that no one jumps ship, if you know what I mean.) Em, who likes to attach herself to me like velcro, wasn't making any noise, which I took to mean that she instantaneously fell asleep. THANK GOODNESS.

The girls had seen Uncle Pat yesterday so before bed, they had been telling me how Henry Dog had hurt Uncle Pat's finger. Over the monitor, I could hear Anna and Allie having the following conversation.

"No, I hurt Uncle Pat's finger."

"No, I hurt Henry Dog's finger."

"No, I hurt Uncle Pat's finger."

And then Anna started singing. Be still my heart. I actually typed this while listening to her.

"Go to sleep little Anna.

Close your eyes and go to sleep.

Turn out the light and go to sleep.

Go to sleep, little one."

And then Allie piped in with, "Then goooooo to sleeeeeeeeep."

I haven't discussed this here yet but a few months ago, Rich began taking classes in an MBA program. As a family, we are making sacrifices now that will hopefully benefit us in the future. Rich was not home last night for the girls' bed time due to completion of school work with a team from his class.

So there I was last night, I thought I was in the clear. I thought I was going to get away with the girls falling asleep sans hysterics. Rich arrived home and then Em woke up. She started screaming and her screaming caused Allie and Anna to cry. And all hay may broke loose.

I have received several comments here on my blog regarding my positive attitude surrounding all of this chaos and molar (hopefully) sleeping issues. It's difficult for me to put into words why it is this way. Yes, I can become frustrated but a day doesn't go by without me thinking about how lucky I am to have my girls. And that these are the only babies I am ever going to have.

This is the only life that we are going to live.

When I bring Emily downstairs to sleep on the couch cushion bed in the middle of night, she usually starts whining to watch something on t.v. I've learned to distract her and she usually falls asleep fairly quickly. The other night (well, really early morning) I told her that I was cold and I needed someone to snuggle with. I even threw in a couple of fake cries. She rolled over to me and threw an arm around me in a half hug while giving me a little kiss on the face.

So really, how can I complain?