Friday, April 5, 2019

Stay at home mom fashion talk

I've been at home (aka not working for the man) for almost three years now.  Here's a look at what I do on most days:

  • Drive the girls to/from school.  I don't need to leave the van for this so in the morning, I keep my pajamas on.
  • Run errands.  90% of the time this means grocery store, post office, Target or fabric/craft store.
  • At home cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, cleaning, sewing, assisting someone with something, cleaning, napping, reading, working out.
  • Go to an appointment/bring someone to an appointment.
  • At the dance studio.
  • (When the girls were in elementary school, I volunteered as class photographer, yearbook photographer and for food drives.)

I find that I wear the same clothes over and over again because none of the above activities require anything above and beyond the standard jeans/t-shirt/fleece.  This is in sharp contrast to what I see online though.  Stay at home mom (fashion) bloggers/"influencers" are selling a different story.  If I were to believe them, I'd be wearing a $300 outfit to the grocery store.  Maybe it's a regional thing, maybe it's because I don't live in a rich town, but no other moms are dressing like that here.  What I love about where I live is that no one is impressed by labels or brands, so no one bothers.  For example, if a mom showed up at the dance studio with an LV tote, she would be seen as a try-hard.

I also don't need 15 pairs of jeans, 15 pairs of jean shorts, 7 of the exact same t-shirt in different colors, 25 maxi dresses and 35 pairs of sandals.  In my opinion, the materialistic attitude has gotten out of control.  Why are people constantly buying new clothing?  What happened to the clothes they already have?

I understand the people I'm referring to do this for their online image.  They are making money through affiliate links and they need to play the part.  But they are also selling an unsustainable lifestyle.  Unless you're sitting on a boatload of disposable income, the money spent on clothes/shoes/handbags can be better used for something else.  How many people have a sufficient amount saved for retirement?  (One third of Americans have less than $5,000 in retirement savings.)  How about just savings in general?  (Almost one third of Americans have credit card debt in excess of savings.)

I sometimes fear for this next generation.  What they see as popular on social media are people who really do have a lot of money or those with the illusion of having money.  (Or those with eating disorders. Maybe there are some people who can only eat fruit but otherwise, no.)  These lifestyles are not sustainable.  They're selling a lifestyle, which, quite frankly, many people will never be able to attain.  You don't just fall into a job making six figures.  Well, some people do but it's not the norm.
The other night as I was cleaning out a bureau drawer, I realized that I haven't bought myself any clothes or shoes in 2019.  It wasn't intentional, but I typically don't purchase much to begin with.  The only thing that I've bought for myself this year was black market fabric, which was technically my birthday gift.

I keep clothes for a long time.  Sometimes a really long time.  I only get rid of stuff when it's worn out or no longer fits.  I currently have clothes in my closet that are more than 15 years old.  If something fits and it looks good, I keep it even if I haven't worn it in some time.  The reasoning is that when I need a nice black dress or to attend a funeral or I'm going out with friends, I can usually easily pull together an outfit.  And if you're thinking I must have a closet the size of a small bedroom to hold all these clothes, I don't.  I have a bureau and a little over half of a standard-sized walk-in closet.  As I noted above, there's no need for 15 pairs of jeans, etc.

I only buy clothes when they're on sale, except when shopping at Target (it's inexpensive enough and takes forever for stuff to hit the clearance racks.)  It's good to know how sales work at stores you frequent.  Like Loft.  I will never pay full price for anything at Loft because they have sales so often.  I like to shop the sale racks there, especially when everything is an additional 50% off.  Back in the fall, I found a $60 shirt marked down to $8.  Even the woman who worked there was like, "Wow, you found a great deal."  Never have I ever paid $26 for a pair of rubber flip flops.  (Pssssst:  Old Navy flip flops are super affordable, comfortable and last.  I typically keep one pair aside as my beach shoes because the sand and salt will yuck them up.)

Believe me, I like pretty new things and feeling good about myself and how I look.  I'll dress up a bit when I go in for parent/teacher conferences or meetings at the school.  But I don't see the need to constantly spend money on new stuff.  Life is expensive enough.  We just paid $1,000 for registration fees and costumes for this year's dance competition season.  I'd rather have a vacation cottage and investment property versus a bunch of stuff I'm going to toss out and replace in a couple of months.

5 comments:

karachris1 said...

The amount of “things” people have blows me away. Last year in March I updated all of my winter shoes at Von Mair on amazing discounts. It was past due but I will not need new work shoes/semi casual for 5+ years.
I also am blown away by how people buy these homes and immediately go in and tear out perfectly good materials.
Do you read the The Lady Okie? You two remind me of each other. Both great writers too!

Marcia (123 blog) said...

Yesssssss to this post.

I also don't know why people do this with home furnishings too. Every time I see yet another post about how they went to buy new pillows/ throws/ rugs/ towels, etc. I'm thinking, "the others are still new. what are you doing with them?"

The excess online scares me and I have had to stop following some blogs because it physically makes me feel sick to see all that consumerism.

Tracie said...

Hahaha “what happened to the clothes you already had?”
Too true. Maybe people aren’t utilizing their laundry rooms ? I have 8 kids and refer to my laundry room as my office because it’s where you can find me .

Teej said...

I wear my clothes until they literally fall apart, and even then I have a hard time saying goodbye. I still regularly wear shoes (Doc Marten Mary Janes) that are 20 years old this year! They still look great, imo!

I rarely go shopping. Maybe once or twice a year at the outlets near my mom's house.

So to summarize, I agree wholeheartedly about the excess.

Are you on GOMI? I feel like some of your posts are in response to one particular blogger/online "influencer" whom I also enjoy to snark about lol

Sarah said...

I'm not on gomi but I do know what it is and read it sometimes. ;)