I don't know what's going on but there's been an increase in the twins/triplets questions and comments this summer. I'm not sure I should even call it an increase. It's been more like a return to the early days. When the girls were little, we couldn't go anywhere without being asked questions.
"Are they twins?" No. "Are they triplets?" Yes. "Are two of them identical?" No. "Do they have the same personality?" No. "Do they all get along?" Not all the time. "Do two of them get along better?" No. "Is one of them ever left out?" No. "What are their names?" Allie, Anna, Emily.
(By the way, I know people mean well and are simply curious. We've also received our fair share of wonderful comments regarding the girls' behavior and how freaking adorable they are.)
Way back when, Rich and I used to turn shopping excursions into challenges. Can I get in and out of Target without being stopped by a stranger? Rich and I are both introverts and typically don't strike up conversations with people we don't know. It's not in our nature. Over the past few years, the questions and comments had significantly decreased to the point where they had almost disappeared. There had been general comments here and there but most of those would have been made regardless of the triplet factor.
This past week alone, I've been asked twice if the girls are mine after confirming that, yes, they are triplets. The woman in Target who asked the question then told me that I looked "really skinny for having triplets." They're ten years old so it's not like I had them last week. But in all seriousness, body type does not matter. I'll always remember reaching that point where I didn't think my body could possibly stretch beyond what it already had. My nurse told me that the human body could do amazing things and mine would find a way to accommodate three babies.
I always find it interesting when someone asks me if I gave birth to the girls instead of just asking if they're mine. They could be mine but I didn't give birth to them. But why does that matter?
The girls and I were in the grocery store last week and as I searched for a specific item in the bread aisle, a middle-aged man walked by and said, "Three at the same time. You're brave." I smiled. My first thought was that I'm really not that brave because they're ten and I should be able to go to the grocery store with them. Although, they have their moments and I'm certainly not going to complain when school starts back up and I can shop solo. I was thinking about it later though and I realized he never asked if they were triplets. He knew. And you know what? I am brave because, oh my god, I'm going to have three teenagers in the house and if this preteen stuff is any sort of look into the future, I'm terrified of what's to come.
3 comments:
My triplet daughters are six and while the comments aren't as constant as they once were, they're still almost every single time we're in public. And I've got a son three years younger than they are too, so I get all the "you finally had a boy!" remarks, as if that had been my life's goal.
I think social media has largely erased most people's concept of personal privacy. Even if the answer isn't shameful, asking me if my children are "natural" is none of your business and affects you not one bit. At the very least it's asking a stranger about their sex life and medical history. ?? Annoying, but I suppose that it's just life for us.
I've been reading your blog since not long after you started. I'm originally from Dover, MA so I love reading a blogger from "home." I have 6 month old boy/girl twins who were a complete and total surprise as there are no twins anywhere in my family, we didn't have any fertility issues or treatments (unless you count two glasses of Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc) and since they're fraternal, it's all on me. First time for everything! My husband and I get asked SO many questions when we are out with them. Are they twins, boys? Girls? Even when we say it's one of each we still get asked if they're identical (insert eye roll). We also get asked if they're "natural." That question drives me batty. I hate that people think they have a right to ask about our fertility. I now just say off the bat that they're spontaneous twins. Oh and my husband is Chinese and I'm white so when I'm out alone with them, I also have the pleasure of being asked if I'm the nanny or if they're adopted. I know one day the questions will slow down, but I totally feel your pain. Thank you for sharing your journey with your girls!
Elizabeth
I've noticed an increase in triplet comments and questions over the last couple weeks as well. Maybe it's because of the end of summer and more kids are out shopping with parents? At least now my boys answer most of the questions (Are you triplets? Are you identical? How old? etc) so they don't usually get around to the natural question.
Yesterday I got one of my favorite, are they triptuplets or all three twins. I've just accepted that I'm never going to blend into a crowd with them and that I have maybe two years before they are taller than me :)
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