On Facebook friends:
Allie: "Why are you friends with Nilla Wafers?"
Me: "It's an ad, buddy."
On being the president:
Allie: "My favorite president is Theodore Roosevelt."
Anna: "My favorite president is Obama."
Allie: "Can you be the president and work at Stop & Shop?"
Me: "No, sweetie, you can't do both at the same time."
Anna: "But you can be the president of Stop & Shop."
Me: "That is true."
Emily: "I feel a ball at the back of my neck. What is this?"
Me: "That's part of your spine, sweetie."
Emily: "My spine? I thought that was something Anna had."
Me: "Emily. Everyone has a spine. You know that. Anna's spine didn't close all the way, which is why she has spina bifida."
Emily: "Oh. Maybe I have a bulging disc."
Me: "I think you've been spending too much time with Grammy."
Emily: (hysterical laughter)
On High School Musical:
Allie: "Eeeew. A sweaty boy."
A little later. . .
Me: "Allie, is that the kind of movie you want to act in when you are older."
Emily: "You'd have to kiss a boy, ya know."
Allie: "That's okay."
Allie: "Emily has a crush on C."
Emily: "So what. He's cute."
Me: "Which one is C?"
Allie: "At the beginning of the year, he had like a mohawk thing and lightning bolts on the sides of his head."
Rich: (best facial expression ever)