Thursday, June 21, 2012

They are only 5 and I'm only human

Everyone's allowed to have a bad day here and there and last Friday happened to be my turn.  There's been a lot of stuff going on at work and as much as I dislike vague-blogging, I can't discuss work publicly on the internet so vague-blogging it is.  A ball of crap had been snowballing for awhile and last week, it was finally large enough to knock me over. 

We also had a difficult week of sleep last week as a result of my working late.  Remember how I mentioned the negative chain reaction that occurs because of my absence?  Here's a rundown of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights:
  • Allie comes into our room @ 2:30. To my side of the bed. She used to go to Rich but, as of late, I am the middle-of-the-night-parent-of-choice. 
  • I heave her into the middle of the bed because I'm too tired to even speak.
  • She insists on "sharing" my pillow.
  • Emily comes into our room between 3:00-4:00. Instead of trying to sleep with both of them in our bed, I go back to her room with her.
  • Within 5 to 30 minutes Allie appears because I need to sleep with her and how dare I leave the bed.
  • I have two grumpy kids in the middle of the night and as much as I would love to tell them to stay in their own beds and work it out, I don't want to awaken Anna because having three grumpy kids awake in the middle of the night will do me in.
Wednesday morning, I was awake at 4:00.  I was still awake at 4:30 and at 5:00 and at 5:30.  I did fall back asleep for 15 minutes or so before my alarm went off at 6:00.  Thursday morning, I was awake from 4:00 to 5:00.  This was partly due to the kids and partly due to other things like my brain working overtime or the $*#&$(%* birds who like to sing their morning songs right outside our bedroom windows.  

Rich and I decided that we would take turns sleeping in/napping Friday morning as it was the only day of the weekend that we didn't have to be someplace for something.  Rich slept in first and then it was my turn for sweet, uninterrupted sleep.  Allie had other plans.  She insisted upon waiting upstairs while I "slept" which meant that she hung onto the handle to my bedroom door.

I would drift off to sleep only to be awakened by the door handle shifting back and forth against the lock.  I gave up after an hour and stormed into the shower.  I love catching up on sleep but not when the girls need me to be available. They had had a tough week, which had ended with Emily breaking down that morning.  I couldn't even understand what she was crying about at first.  Something about the late train and Grammy and taking to bed.  So, yeah, she told me that I couldn't take the late train anymore because when I do, Grammy is the one taking them to bed.

I felt like I was bearing the brunt of so many different things.  (And I kind of feel unfair writing this because Rich does so much and I have Grammy to help out.  More than half of those feelings were unrelated to home life though).  The girls were in a Mommy-do-it phase and I was the parent who had to get up in the middle of the night, I was the parent who wasn't allowed to nap, I was the parent who was going to have to alter three dance outfits.  Because of the car situation and Rich needing a car to drive to school at night, I ended up walking home all four nights that week, which I don't mind doing but it makes my commute home an hour and a half long.

I was tired.

We did have errands to run that afternoon. I needed to buy make-up for the girls (in their colors) for their dance recital and Rich needed to pick up a gift card for his brother's birthday party, which was that evening but because it was at a pub and at the girls' bedtime, Rich went solo and I stayed home to get the girls to bed at a decent time.

Is there a monkey in the van?




We stopped at a playground on the way home and the girls were terrified of this bridge, which barely even moved.


And you want to go on Tower of Terror?

As Rich was readying to leave for the party that evening, I was attempting to alter the girls' dance recital outfits.  Nothing like waiting to the last minute.  Honestly, my mind was so full that I completely forgot.  I was being snappy and Rich walked over and hugged me before he left.  "Remember, they are only 5 years old," he said.

He's right.  They are only 5 years old and they're going to wiggle and giggle while I attempt to cut and measure and sew tiny straps on tiny outfits.  I hate when I get that way because I love my kids and I have so much to be grateful for but I'm only human.  I'm not perfect and I have bad days.

I did have some fun with the girls before bed.  They all wanted me to do their make-up.  You can sort of see Allie's lipstick (and eyebrows or "eyeburrows" as Anna calls them) here:


Allie was making silly faces in the mirror after I brushed her teeth and I was supposed to be making faces too but I ended up laughing at her.


By the way, do you know how hard it is to take a picture of yourself in the mirror?  I ended up with a lot of these:


So then the girls told me that they had to practice smiling for their dance recital.  Emily said that their dance instructor told her that she may need to go to Target to buy a smile.  I wish I had her saying that on video because it was pretty funny.  Here are Allie and Anna with their end of dance routine "faces":




Tina said...

LOL all their silly faces are so funny!!!!

You ARE only human. And trust me, I think all of us Moms have bad days. The great thing is that kids are so resilient and if we freak the hell out, they don't seem to remember two minutes later... while we are still stewing over it two days later. I don't get it. But I'm thankful for it, because my kids still think I am the best Mom ever even when I feel like the worst!

Debbie Hein said...

I am tired just reading how much you do. I just want to send you some pixie dust, and a huge hug.

Esther said...

Like Debbie said…it makes me tired just by reading how much you've got on your plate
I have just one tiny little boy(/ball of energy) of 16 months, but even he is enough to make me feel knackered 6 days out of seven…so i can only imagine 3 of the same age (or no, actually, I can't imagine) anyway: RESPECT! Where do you find the energy to write a blog?

Julia said...

I too have no idea how you do it. Your girls are very lucky to have such a loving mom and such a caring family.

Anonymous said...

Your right! I know when I read your blog I don't expect that your world is perfect in every I only have two boys who are 4 years apart and boy oh boy do I feel like locking myself up in the bathroom, putting ear plugs in my ears and just going to sleep for that little bit of peace BUT in the end they are the sweetest things just want some mommy time. My kids love to sleep with me as well and my 12 year old doesn't anymore but my 8 year old still climbs in. I figure one day he will So just be happy he wants to cuddle and love me right now cause one day will come where he will not to have anything to do with me :( Well not cudling at

Erica said...

Love the silly faces in the mirror. Glad to know that continues! My 9 month old already likes to make silly faces at herself.

I know its unlikely but here's to hoping you get some downtime this weekend to recover from your crazy week!

B. said...

You are such a hard working mother. I am exhausted just reading about your week. I bet if you got a few hours to yourself to go out (or sleep) you'd feel like a new woman.

Anonymous said...

Love these photos. Glad you are taking photos with you in them. Too many times entire childhoods can go by with so few photos of the mother WITH her kids in the photos.

Anonymous said...

Love these photos. Glad you are taking photos with you in them. Too many times entire childhoods can go by with so few photos of the mother WITH her kids in the photos.

Jayme said...

Raising kids is hard work, and to be working outside the home- I can't imagine. You're a tough mama to be able to do all you do! Lack of sleep would make anyone crazy, I know it does me! We always end up with at least one in our bed too. It's tough!