I try to spend a bit of time with the girls when I tuck them into bed at night. They are usually a bit subdued (unless the Tickle Monster appears) and although our snuggles may only last for a minute or three, it is still alone time. If someone has had a bad day or has been acting up, this is the time when I try to talk to her.
Many, many times, the girls have made it loud and clear that they do not want to get bigger or older. I find it odd considering that they enjoy their independence. I have brushed it off as one of the many phases of childhood.
One day, they wanted to know what was on a girl's teeth in a picture. "Those are braces."
"Will we have to have braces when we're big kids?"
"Maybe, sweetie. We don't know yet." (But you'll definitely have to have some teeth pulled so that all of your adult teeth can fit into your tiny mouth. Sorry about those genetics.)
"NO! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE BRACES."
Or there are the questions about college.
"What is college?"
"It's school after high school."
"Is it for big kids?"
"Will we go to college?"
"Probably. I hope so."
"NO! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE."
A few weeks ago, as I was tucking Emily into bed, she asked, "Mommy, when we're bigger will we still be your kids? And when we have kids will we still be your kids?"
"Yes, sweetie. I will always be your Mommy."
She smiled and happily snuggled under her covers, grasping Little Lion in one hand.
In that moment, I realized that they are just trying to figure out life. It's so cliche to say but they really do grow up so fast. I sometimes find it hard to believe that they will be kindergarteners next year. They still make little baby noises when they sleep. They still want to cuddle. They still ask me to hold them. They are still my babies.