Body by triplets (a series post)

I need to start running again.

I've been saying this for four (okay, make it five. or six) months now.

It's not that I lack motivation. I don't feel that I've ever experienced motivational issues when it comes to running. Plain and simple - I'm tired. Exhausted. Drained. I feel like a burnt up, dried out piece of toast that's been tossed into the sink and is waiting for the garbage disposal to power on.

Back in April, Rich told me that I should do something for myself one weekend. I asked to spend a few hours alone shopping for clothes for myself. Well, by the time the weekend rolled around, everyone was sick so my shopping trip had to be a quick one. I chose the outlet mall versus the nearest regular mall. And of course it was Christmas-season-like packed, which means I wasted precious time finding a parking spot and waiting in line for a dressing room. One room. I only had enough time for one clothing store.

I have been down to my pre-baby weight for at least six months now but purchasing clothing is still frustrating. I was basically the same size for my entire adulthood (pre-baby.) I never had to try on clothes to see if they fit. I would sometimes try on clothes in stores to see if I liked the style but I was almost always able to eyeball the fit.

Now I have to bring multiple sizes of everything into dressing rooms and it is such a hassle because I usually end up with this huge stack of clothes and I am this close to never buying clothes from Target again because the store nearest to me would only allow me to take five items into the dressing room at a time. If I really look like I intend to lift that $7 shirt, then I have bigger problems than I thought.

When I met Rich, I was the strongest I had even been. I had been working out with a personal trainer, I could easily run 10 miles (on a treadmill) for a long run, and I felt like I could kick someone down if they tried to attack me.

Now, I feel like a blob.

A few weekends ago, before I fell ill, Rich and I went out for a run with the girls. (Okay, so I want to backtrack and say that maybe I am having some motivational issues due to the crummy weather we have had this spring.) This was a beautiful summer-like afternoon so we loaded the girls up in the triple stroller and took off for the bike trail. I ran for maybe a mile and a half. Nothing compared to what I used to run but enough for me to realize that it shouldn't be that difficult to get back into it.

The girls insisted on running as well, which was safe because we on the bike trail. I wonder if Em or Allie or both will run track when they are older. Rich and I will certainly encourage but not insist.

So now I've been sick with a cold/sinus infection (again) for almost two weeks. I feel it's best to not run until I feel healthier. I told Rich that if only I could spend a few days in bed, doing nothing then maybe I would feel better. Two seconds after I made that statement, we both snorted. Like that could ever happen.

Rich and I do (on occasion) have to run for the train in the morning. There's nothing I love more than running with a dress on while carrying a heavy commuting bag (because I somehow feel the need to carry a ton of crap with me) and a bag of food supplies (because I need to consume diet pepsi cherry all day.) After one such incident this week, I turned to Rich once I had finally recovered and was able to breathe and muttered, "I think I pulled my gluteus maximus."

I'm learning to accept that this is my life now.

Maybe next week.....