I used to be cool.

I used to be cool.

I used to be fashionable.

I used to be a lot of things.

I used to have a big closet full of wonderful, stylish clothes, bags and shoes.

I used to shop.

I used to accessorize.

I used to get my hair cut several times a year.

I used to have a hair style that I actually styled.

I used to spend time doing my make-up.

I used to know what was new with music, books and movies.

I used to travel.

I used to follow rock stars around and hang out with my cool rock-n-roll peeps.

And then...

And then I gave birth to four babies in less than 11 months.

Abbey was born at 40+ weeks. Sleeping.

Rich and I purchased burial plots.

We buried our baby.

And then I was told that all three of my triplets would most likely not survive.

I held my breath for months and months.

They did survive.

The girls were born at 35 weeks and 6 days.

My normally size 0-2 waist measured four feet around the night before my c-section.

We began the process of purchasing a new home.

And then I lost my job.

And then we couldn't sell our other home.

And then Rich lost his job.

The babies were sucking down and spitting up one can of formula every 36 hours.

We had co-payments times three.

We had a cobra insurance payment to make each month.

We cleared out our savings.

What I was wearing didn't seem so important.

I tried.

I tried to have my cut in a cute style.

It always looked ridiculous because I didn't have the time to style it.

I tried to wear cute outfits.

But none of my clothes fit right.

Now...

Now I have diastasis recti.

And a herniated belly button.

I have to try on any and every clothing item before purchasing it.

I keep my hair long and have it cut about once a year. (The last time was in September.)

I wear it in a ponytail 99% of the time.

Most of the shoes I wear at work were purchased more than 10 years ago.

I have perfected the 5 minute face.

I can't use the words/terms whatevs, for reals or obvs without feeling like "someone's mom." (You know. The mom who still thinks she is young and cool.)

I wouldn't know a Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber song if you hit me over the head with it.

I don't have time to shop.

I'm tired.

I would rather put my money towards other things such as photography equipment or savings.

Cool or uncool, this is me.

****

I recently started reading some new-to-me mommy blogs and what really struck me was how young and fashionable the author/mothers are. They post pictures of their outfits and describe where they purchased everything. I suddenly feel old. Really old. And I realize too, that for me, it is easier to hide behind the camera.

Clothing has been a big issue for the past four years. I basically don't have time to shop. Shopping is a chore. Rich tries to let me go by myself whenever possible but I always feel like I have to rush, rush, rush. Have you ever tried to shop with one, two or three three/four year olds? This is how it goes:

"Boy, this sure is taking a long time."

"I'm tired. Can I sit down?"

"Mommy, do you need this? Mommy, do you need this? Mommy, do you need this?"

"Do they have any toys here?"

"I'm hungry."

Although Monday was technically a holiday, I went into work. I had some stuff I needed to finish. Because it was a holiday, I drove into Boston and I left early. I drove by one major mall and a few smaller shopping plazas on my way home. But I couldn't stop. Rich who was watching the girls by himself all day, had homework to do. I thought it would be selfish of me to call and say, "Hey, I'll be home a little bit later. I'm going shopping."

This is our life.

Not to copy or ridicule anyone (except myself), I've decided to start my own weekly feature showcasing the outfits that the ladies of the house wear on Saturdays. Probably the stupidest blog idea I have come up with yet. But I obvs want to keep it real. For reals.

Stay tuned....