Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Excuse me please while I have a breakdown.

At the end of last week, the walls began to close in and I became a bit overwhelmed with all that I have on my plate.  My main frustration, as always, per usual, is work.  I'm trying to squeeze 125% work into 80% time and as you can probably imagine, there's a breaking point.  Both the person I reported to and the manager working for me when I transitioned to an 80% schedule are looooong gone.  The person I was most recently reporting to told me that people worked more efficiently when they had more work to do and therefore, I should be able to fit in more than 80% work into 80% time. So she piled it on.  My retort was that working 40+ hours in 4 days and only getting paid for 80% of it sure didn't sound efficient to me.  She's gone now too.  Good riddance.

So, there's a lot of stuff going on at work and I can't really talk about it only to say that there's a lot of stuff going on.

Feeling overwhelmed at work makes me feel overwhelmed in general.  It's not a feeling I can turn off when I walk out of the building at night.  This makes everyday, normal life stuff feel like it's too much.  There's laundry and birthday parties every weekend, including one for my own kids, our tax returns, along with those for some family members (and hey, my services are free so expect some mistakes) and the kids' homework.  Nothing like yelling out at 7:30 Sunday night, "THE KIDS HAVE HOMEWORK!!  ALLIE NEEDS TO FINISH HER MATH WORKSHEET AND SHE NEEDS TO READ THAT BOOK AND EMILY WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK  ON THAT POSTER. I COMPLETELY FORGOT!"

I'm having trouble writing this out, which means I need to give up and go to bed.  I may not be posting much these next few weeks but I'll be around.  Don't give up on me.  I did stay later at work last night and tonight in an attempt to keep from falling further behind.  The kids were pissed off at that though.  It always seems like a lose/lose situation.

(Sigh)

9 comments:

La Gross Brioche said...

I can completely relate to your feeling of the work stress overwhelming the rest of your life. What drives me insane are the nights when our 1 and 3 year olds actually sleep well and I lie awake thinking about one of my court cases. Immensely frustrating! I really enjoy your posts so I hope your hiatus is a short one!

Ruth said...

so sorry to hear this. hope you will start feeling more in control again soon xxx Ruth in New Zealand

Melissa said...

(I'm not sure that I have ever commented before, but I love your blog. It's refreshing and real, and your girls seem like wonderful kids). I just wanted to leave a note to say that you are not alone. Even though I understand that it is impossible to dedicate myself 100% to work AND 100% to family, day after day, I continue to try to do it. I don't believe that "work life balance" is a real thing, but I do believe that some level of sanity is possible. I am working on finding mine, and I hope you find yours, too! All the best as you get through this extra stressful time.

JEN said...

Hugs Sarah. I am feeling the same way this week and my husband travels all the time.

Teej said...

I've been in a work position for about six months where I feel like I am doing the job of 2 people but receiving the salary of one. I am already burned out and feeling like this is not sustainable long-term. From having read your blog, I think I understand that you have been in a stressful work situation for years and years. All I can say is...bless your heart. You are a strong lady. I am ready to give up already.

Courtney Lee said...

Just one of the many reasons I love your blog is that I can relate to you and your crazy work life. I am a mother to two (soon to be 3 this summer) and work in public accounting. April 15th cannot come soon enough! I often think of reducing my busy season hours but then think how I will still be doing the same work with less pay (much like you say!). I hope you get through the next few weeks!

Wendy said...

Much love, Sarah.

Sarah said...

Thank you! It does help to know that I'm not alone. It's such a struggle sometimes...

Sarah said...

Melissa - completely agree with the whole work/life balance. I'm not seeing it.

Courtney - I hope the next month goes by quickly for you. I don't miss public accounting one bit. That is definitely one difficult job, esp with a family.